Why did the chicken cross the road? He was a recovering alcoholic who recently relapsed and drove his car through his garage. He took his anger out on his wife and kids. His wife kicked him out and filed for divorce. Conveniently, the liquor store is across the street.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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a brunet,a redhead,and a blone were stranded on an island 4 miles away from land. the brunet swam 1 mile and drowned. the redhead swam 2 and drowned. the blond swam 3 miles and decided to swim 3 miles back to the island

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A man in a car turned left at the end of his road. Then he proceeded .1 miles and turned left again, as his GPS instructed him.

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Why was a white man mowing his lawn ? The lawn was getting undesirably long which provoked the white man.

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why has 8 wheels and costs more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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How do u get a dog to sit? Teach it to sit then tell it to sit.

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oh, you have a baby on board? I'll just drive into the the car next to you...

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Your mother is so fat. We are all extremely concerned for her health.

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What did the banana say to the apple? We're fruity.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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25

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Why was the man hanging from a tree? He got the Death Penalty

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A bear walks into a bar..... The bartender asks " what do you want?" , he gets killed by the bear because he started talking to it Made by eli

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? DAM!

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whats worse than a worm in your apple..? getting shot..

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here's a chuck norris fact: Chuck Norris is 5'10 and lost to bruce lee!

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How do you get someone to paid attention to etys You don't, there is no such thing as retys

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops