Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How do you call the uncle who molested you as a child? More than likely with a telephone.

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This site is called anti-joke.com Because it is a donkey.

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There once was a man called steve, His name was steve

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U are with a jew a Christian and a muslim, you walk in chicken shop, thw lights close, and all of a sudden, hitler and a vampire pop up. Which one do you kill? The jew.

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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Don`t be mean? WOMAN! DO YOU NOT HOW TERRIBLE THE DEMAND YOU MAKE IS? ...Fine alright, I wont leave you hanging then... So I wont call. Moral: "Seriously though, I am leaving too, but I want the top comment"

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What did the 20-year old woman say too the old man? HI GRANDPA!

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why was the boys t.v broken? because he through it out the window

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because goats lay eggs.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here." The other muffin doesn't say anything because it is a muffin.

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she is dead.

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Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

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How many dead babies can you fit in the trunk of a car? Depends on the car.

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Boy: Excuse me, do you have a cigarette? Man: First let me see your ID. Boy: I don't have an ID Man: Well, how much money do you have? Boy: 50 cents Man: Sorry, I don't have any cigarettes. Boy: Good job, I'm actually undercover cop and you sir are a good citizen for not giving a minor cigarettes. Man: Cool, do I get a reward? Boy: Yes, you will receive a good citizen award and free $50 coupon. Man: Thank you! Boy: Can I have a cigarette now? Man: I wasn't lying when I said I didn't have any cigarettes. Boy: Okay, have a nice day.

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When is it ok to drink urine? When you're Bear Grills

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I read the terms of service.

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how do u get a bonar? u look at your mum!!

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A bartender walks into a bar. He serves alcohol for a living.

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how many jews does it take to change a lightbulb? none, they hire mexicans to do it

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How do you make a person cry? Burn his family.

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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What did the moose say to the photographer? Moose say cheese.

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every man comes from between a women's legs for the rest of their lives they try to get back in

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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