Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

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If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

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What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

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What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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