Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the slutty blonde get her boyfriend for Valentine's Day? Nothing because she had died of AIDS months ago.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you put two black men in an empty room, what will they do? They will most likely try to figure out why they have been put in such a confusing scenario. Then one of the black men will suggest the possibility that maybe they are being used as a subject of a joke. The other black man agrees then they both hang themselves since they have no other purpose in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was the 13 year old drug addict crying? Because somebody shot him in the foot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Stevie Wonders wife do when they got into fights? Re-Arrange the furniture

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the little boy fall of his bicycle? It was the first time he road without his training wheels.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Nothing, you heartless asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock Come in Come in who? Come in...wait what?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 has AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

People thought hitler said "I want to burn the jews" he really said "I want a glass of juice".

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is the different on a black guy and a bicycle ? The black guy steals the bicycle, but the bicycle dont steal the black guy. Yes, my bike got stolen ...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops