Knock knock. ... There was no reply because the resident was on holiday.

Why did I the granda fall out of her wheel chair?. She fell down the steps

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

what do you call a person who rides a bike a lot? BATMAN!!! -s.s

A man walks into a bar, asks for a drink. He then realises that it was a metal bar and not one that serves alcoholic beverages. He then ponders the mysteries of the world and the universe.

What would happen if an unstoppable object hit and unmovable object? I don't know, I was just wondering

What's green and can read your mind? Nothing. Some people thinks the answer is a plant but don't listen to them because they are wrong.

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Why the long face" To which the horse replies by trampling him to death for making rude remarks about his face.

Future last words Guess who edition: "This new prototype Ferrari XZ handles like a God even at full speed!...Well, if God had no brakes and his turning ability suddenly disappeared when going at over 300 kilometers per hour that is..." "Uh oh now! Another heart attack! Where is mah medical weed? SHAAAAAROOOOOOON!" "Please haters, lower your guns, I will stop singing! Beliebe me!" Moral: "OMG I AM ONLY THE SIXTH MOST USELESS THING NOW!" "MY BODY IS NOT READY! Urgh mah chest... CHAROOOOOOON!

A mother had three kids: 1st kid- “Mom, why did you name me Daisy?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a daisy fell on your head.” 2nd kid- “Mommy, why did you name me Rose?” Mom- “Because when you were a baby a rose fell on your head.” 3rd kid- “Blahblahblahflismdjsk” *makes retarded noises* Mom- “SHUT UP BRICK!”

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

How many people were trampled on Black Friday this year? Not enough.

life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

Why couldn't the blond get into the library? Because the library was closed therefore the door was locked.

Q: What did the angry German man say to the Ameican? A: I dont know, I can't speak German!

A horse walked into a bar, and the bartender asked, "Why the long face?". The horse replied, "It's evolutionarily efficient to have an elongated skull so that I can eat vegetation with ease."

How do you kill a vampire? Because vampires are figments of society's imagination and actuall living creatures, this task is impossible.

A man walks into a bar in the morning. He is the bartender, and he works there.

If quizzes are quizzical then what are tests? Tests.

Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

Mum says therirs ups in life... I have the Downs

hiya

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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