An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

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What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

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What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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What did the Chicken say to the Turkey Nothing, Chickens don't talk.

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how many Ethiopians can you fit in a bathtub? all of them.

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What starts with C and ends with UNT. Ciretrunt

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What is the difference between an empty bucket and a bucket of water? The Water.

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whats the diffrence between madeline macan and a submarine? there isnt one there both at the bottom of the sea and full of seaman

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

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Why didn't jimmy get to eat his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Cosmopolitan magazine releases an issue without any sex tips.

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What did the litlle boy get for christmas? The toy which he could only dream about. His father got cancer.

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Q: which is easier to unload a truck of dead babies or a truck of alove babies? A: dead babies cause u can use a pitchfork

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Where did Adolf go as a vacation after the war? Hell

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Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Why did the boy hate his mom? She was a fucking bitch.

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True or false , is it hotter in the summer or in the city? False, because blue monkeys don't eat orangutan bones.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

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How long does it take jimmy hoffa to screw in a light bulb? A: Jimmy Hoffa is dead and incapable of screwing in a light bulb, however if you change the tense of the question to "how long WOULD Jimmy Hoffa HAVE TAKEN to screw in a light bulb" then the approximate answer would be around 1 1/2 minutes if Mr Hoffa had proper dexterity an motor control that was comparable to the average human.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops