Why did the parents order the 16 year old daughter to move out of Virginia? Because she lost her virginity

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what did one gagged man say to the other gagged man? nothing he was gagged

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? I don't know, I've never tried to.

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"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Why doesn't Harry have any arms? Because he's a Jew.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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69

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Today is Valentines Day I am depressed

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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A Black man is running down the street with a T.V. He just bought it with the money he is getting from his recent promotion to partner at a local Law firm. He is running because he had to park far away and wanted to get out of the rain.

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of four.

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Why wouldn't someone want to work in the mining industry? Their dad died in the mines.

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What are crabs with out the crabs Nothing hahahahaha

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How much cocaine did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to give him a bad reputation, but not enough to kill him

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Why did the black man kill himself? Because he had a very serious case of depression brought on by his recent divorce

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't, a car ran him over.

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Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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