Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

What do black people and apples have in common? - They both look good hanging from trees.

whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

How does a man with no arms and legs get to your door. After asking his name please help us out with this question

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

What starts with P and ends with "oop" POOP

why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

Why was Reed sad? His mother has a penis

A man walks into a bar. He's an alcoholic and its killing his family.

What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern p.o.r.n-o collections.

Why doesn't Hitler drink whiskey? Because it makes him mean.

why did Suzie fall off the swing? because she had no arms.... well then knock knock! whis there? suzie. suzie who? she doesnt know either...she has no arms!

Whats fat and gay joe diragi

Knock Knock. Shut up.

A door walks up with a knob what does the guy do? he opens the door

Your sex life.

What did Osama bin Laden say to Jesus? Nothing. He's in hell.

Q: what do u call a plane that flies A: a plane

what did the apple say to the orange? -- NOTHING! APPLES DO NOT TALK!

what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

What happens when you stick your hand down the jelly bean jar? The black one steals your watch.

Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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