How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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Roses are black Violets are black Oh fuck I'm blind!

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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What did the bartender say to the upset horse? GET OUT OF MY BAR!!!

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Skrillex.

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Your mom is over the average weight for a person of here height and age.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar? Actually it's my cookie jar, and my cookies. I stole nothing.

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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What do you call a black man driving a expensive sports car? A respectable member of society

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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