There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why was the baby crying? He saw a nigga

thumb_up thumb_down -13

what sucks blows and gets laid in the closet. YOUR MOM VACUMING

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

8

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Joke

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did the chicken cross the road? ....Because based on modern mathematics the shortest distance between two points is a straight line.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

When life gives you lemons, That's physically impossible. Life cannot physically hand you lemons.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the best part of having sex with twenty-four year olds? There's 20 of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why did they name the team mavericks and why Was the maskot a horse? Because 50 years ago they found a blue horse And its name was maverick

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

In Kentucky...your grandmother rapes you.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am Jack Bauer, Where is the nuke?

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Q: A Mexican and a Jew are at a race. Who get hit first? A: None of them because they're from a different religion.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

if there is a circle of fat people and you throw a cookie in the middle of the circle. It will be the best game of hungry hungry hippos you will ever see.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

One scientist is talking to another scientist. One say "what's the matter?" The other replies "my family is dead"

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops