How many fish fingers does it take to change a lightbulb? Five.

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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A man walks into an illegal brothel. He is a cop. He takes them back to the police station and questions them in a completely asexual manner.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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You:Knock knock friend:who's there you:come in friend come on who you:come in your mother

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A drunk walks out of a bar gets in his car and proceeds to drive home the driver passed out at the wheel swerved in the wrong lane and smashed the car of the Jefferson family a young family of 4, the Jefferson family's car exploded into flames while the drunk sat back laughed and rubbed the wound on his head

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A cat playing laser tag.

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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Why did the fridge break? Because someone threw a fridge at it.

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Why did sally fall out of the tree? Because sally was morbidly obese and uprooted the tree from underneath her subsequently causing her to splash violently on the ground. Why didn't sally get back up? Because the splash caused the earth to spin at 40000 rpm into the sun.

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mental kid

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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One day... Jack: Good morning Ben: Good morning The End.

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Q. What goes 100 mph and is green? A. A frog in a blender

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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How many apples do you end up with if your dog is a golden retriever who got raped by a giant scorpion? A jail

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Q: why couldn't anyone hear hellen keller when she fell off a cliff? A: she was mute.

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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if your having girl problems i feel bad for you son, i don't have any.

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Why was the boy sad he ate a loaf of bread? Because ducks ate him alive after that.

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Why can't Anne Frank write a sequel? Because she's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops