How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

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There was a chicken. It squarked.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Its Eliza, hope you are still there, would you mind getting here sooner? This site is not safe, besides its cold here, I mean send somebody else if you got to, I might look frail but Nero taught me a thing or two, so I can honestly say that Nero taught me better than you guys just in case. Funny you say there is no code, yet add three, yeah you better expect nothing "fancy", Mr.Torture dungeon master. Honestly though I do not blame you, and if I really meant you where a psycho, I would not have agreed/asked you showed up, I am serious I need to get out of here.

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What did the woman with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A diagnosis.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

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what happened when u got some swag? i don't know u still don't have any

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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What do you call an awesome bucket? An epic pail.

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What did the Japanese man name his black baby? -Som Ting Wong :)

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How can you confirm that Saturday comes after friday, and that Sunday comes after Saturday? consult Rebecca Black.

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Hey whats sad about 4 black people going over a cliff in a cadillac. Nothing

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I was watching Fox news.

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What's green and frolics in the forest? A flock of cucumbers.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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What is the biggest lie of 2011? "I do"- Kim kardashian

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An American man walks to Mc Donalds.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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test test

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Its a long story, I got two balance nerves, I technically got four ear drums (relax you cant see it nor anything,neither can doctors without weird unpleasant stuff), I got about twice the number of synapses as regular people, and well, that makes me pretty damn good at some things, and a total retard at others.

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What do you call a fat man that breaks into your house at 2 a.m. and steals your money and your television? Probably a dumbass, a jackass, a moron, an idiot, or something in that general area.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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