Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

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Why did the man cut his hair? Cause he has cancer

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A man was driving in his BMW one day when a mini passed him out on the fast lane. The BMW driver thought 'i can't have that!' so he sped up and overtook the mini. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention and he drove into the back of a school bus. Ironically the bus contained the mini driver's 3 daughters, he was driving so fast because they had forgotten to bring their lunch and he was trying to catch up with the bus so he could give them their sandwiches. There were no survivors of the crash, except for the mini driver.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violate and not fucking blue.

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What is long hard and woody? A tree.

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AND

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What did the black guy say in the phone? Hello

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Whats white and goes up? a confused snowflake

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Want to hear the funniest joke in the world? I forget how it goes but it ends with the abolishment of slavery.

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What do the holocaust and new born babies have in common? Nothing. Except some babies are born in Germany.

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What is the delicate way to start talking about your penis? ...that wasn't it.

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How do you get Pikachu on a bus? Pokemon are fictional, therefore Pikachu is fictional, meaning he would never be at a bus station in the real world at all.

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What happened to Jillian when she walked out the door? She got hit by a bus A. Knock knock B. Whos there? A. Not Jillian

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Actually a better question would be, why is the chicken near a road in the first place?

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat it for being black.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Two in the front, three in the back, and 278 in the ash tray/\.

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I did not thumb this up myself!... *click* Whoops! At least I am not that douche Moral Man eh? Moral: Whoops! Now if I just don't accidentally type in the answer and...

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5 - samios in a wheelchair.

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hey i just met you.. and this is crazy. but here my facebook so add me maybe!!

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an american an asian and a jihadist got on a train where did they go no where as the jihadist was strapped to c4

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops