A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock Knock! Who's there?! Michelle Bachman.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what does wtf stand for? what? i was asking you!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A blonde, a brunette and a red head are having a discussion on current issues. The brunette says she would like to see improvements in the environment. The red head says she would like to see the economy prosper. The blonde says she has to take a poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why was the girl crying when she got home? She got raped and mugged on the walk home

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the 80 year old man do to celebrate valentines day with his wife? Nothing, Alzheimer's made him forget about Valentines day.....and that he was married. What did his wife do for Valentines day? Killed herself.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Men's rights Because its an anti-joke

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a tree that grew in the middle of a road? Whatever type of tree it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I was going to write a joke about procrastination, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are white And Pansies hold hands and skip

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Timmy eats 32 cookies and eats 30 of them. What does he have? Type 2 Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a black man that works in a church A priest

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do a Siamese cat and a birch tree have in common? Both exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Puns are terrible. I love them.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. The mailman who? Anthrax.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why did the baby stop crying his mother killed him with an axe

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Not Suzy!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops