two muffins are sitting in an oven one muffin turns and says "boy it`s hot in here" the other muffin can`t bring himself to explain to the other they are about to be eaten alive.

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Why'd the dead man cross the road? He didn't, he was dead, therefore incapable of doing anything at all.

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What did the doctor say to the other doctor? Hey bill

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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A teen walks in on his parents having sex. He then vomits in his mouth and shuts the door.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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a blind man walks into a wall

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A priest, a pastor, and a rabbi walk into a bar. All three are alcoholics and have done irreparable damage to their livers.

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A penguin walks into a bakery. The baker asks the penguin: "What kind of bread would you like? Brown or white?". Penguins answers: "Well, it doesn't really matter since I came here by car!".

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Niall Horan

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josh roberts makes nuns hang themselves

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So i broke up with my girl, here her number... SIKE!! ITS THE WRONG NUMBAHHH!!!

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Why was it really gross when the blonde dove into the swimming pool? Because the swimming pool was full of phlegm!

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A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

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What did the man say to his friend when he beat him in a game of billiards? Good Game.

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Why was the 18 year old white male late for his college class. On his way to college he got in a car accident and killed 5 people and he walked away unharmed

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What's blue paint and smells like red paint? Paints

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Knock knock. The door was not answered because, rather than rapping upon the door with his knuckles twice consecutively, Joseph simply said the onomatopoeia verbs vocally. He intended to wish his neighbor and dear friend of twenty years the best of luck with his current situation, as his neighbor had been recently divorced from a marriage of forty-eight years. Joseph then walked home, because intruding upon his friend's privacy would have befuddled him even further.

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your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

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Why did Jimmy fall off of his bike? Well, he was always known for his lack of balance.

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Sally bought a shakeweight. She is an alcoholic and is ruining her family.

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What do you call it when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A miracle

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Q:Whats the difference between NBC and the NBA? A: The NBA is the National Basketball Assocation and NBC is The No Body Cares.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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