Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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roses are red, violets are blue, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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A blond, a brunet, and a red head jumped off a bridge. Which one hit the ground first? In order to solve this problem you would first need to figure out witch of the three had more of a body mass. Then you would need to calculate the accretion in case one brought along a cow. However, in the end the outcome is always the same: 3 dead bodies on impact and 3 mourning families.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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Why was the black man holding the knife in such a particular manner? Because he was getting dinner ready for his family.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Ask me if I'm a carrot Are you a carrot? No

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Q: How do you know what will happen when the world willl end? A: by experience

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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I asked her where you were.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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mikey is cute

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What's the difference between dead babies and the holocaust? A lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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