What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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I saw 2 jews talking. I threw in a penny and watched them fight to the death. I did the same with 2 catholic preasts exept I threw in a baby boy

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Your mom is so fat that she actually had a pretty hard time finding a husband.

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Random link time! http://www.booksie.com/thrillers/novel/declan_mckimm/pure-evil

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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No antijoke here.

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A dog walks into a bar, animal control is called and he is put down as he is suffering from rabies.

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Have you seen the movie "Gay Men Say No"? Oh yes, that is very insightful documentary on the modern day struggles of homosexuality.

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What did the homosexual give in his secret box? important papers from work.

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What is worse than going to school? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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