how do u wake up lady gaga? poke her face

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What's black, white, and red all over? A: Me after domestic abuse.

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. YO YO YO I F U C K YOU ALL!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. I said who's there? Knock Knock. WHO THE FUCK'S THERE, GODDAMNIT? Knock Knock. PLEASE STOP IT STOP IT OH GOD STOP IT Knock Knock SWEET DEAR JESUS GOD CHRIST STOPSTOPOHGODSTOPITNOW Knock Knock. FORGODSSAKECOMEIN. Hello, Mark. Oh, hi, Steven.

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Q: How do get a person to leave you alone ? A: Suck out his eye-balls stuff them in your ears to muffle the sound of his screaming as you head-butt him into a fine paste. Then proceed to spread or squeeze sed paste on to delicious food substance and eat sed delicious food substance. Then carry on with the rest of your day like nothing happened. (P.S. Just ignore any letters about court cases or arrests)

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies? A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat his way out. Q: What's worse than that? A: When he comes back for more.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Car? 2 in the front seat 3 in the back seat 5 in the trunk and a couple thousand in the Ashtray -WSS Gaming

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roses are red violets are blue they are pretty and you are not

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Did you hear why the peanut got arrested by walking next to another peanut? One got a-salt-ed

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Why did little Suzy fall of the Swing? Someone threw a fridge at her.

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It's porn, we all knew that, do you have something interesting to say?

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Why did the blond woman sell her water skis? She was in a horrible accident and will never walk again.

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Why is this anti-joke here? Because someone submitted it to this website.

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Knock Knock, Whos there? a baby nailed to the wall Orgasim

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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What happened When The lion asked the dog of a soda can? The giraffe who is taller the lion or the whos the fastest?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know why the fuck he crossed the road, I don't know what he is thinking.

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Last christmas, I gave you my heart, and the very next day, you're body rejected the transplant and you died.

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Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

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I thought about taking a nice warm shower, but then I realized that the power was out and it would probably be a cold shower.

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Why did the boy cross the road? He was visiting his dying grandmother at the hospital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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