Why did the policeman who's third wife just lost 20 pounds go to sleep? He was tired.

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

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A fully grown cow walks into a man's house and says to him, "Hey, how have you been?" Traumatized by the vivid circumstances, the man falls to the floor and begins sobbing relentlessly until he passes out onto the floor from a violent mental breakdown.

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Have you heard the one about the dead guy? Neither has he.

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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what meows and is fuzzy and smells like manure? a cat being being killed with a chainsaw next to a cow

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Daniel G. Likes to perve on the boys in the locker room. Change quick guys!

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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Q. What did the dead man do after he died? A. Nothing. He's dead.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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What do you call a cross between a dog and a bumblebee? One messed up lab experiment!

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What do you call an Englishman, an Irishman and a Chineseman playing football? 3 friends playing their favourite sport.

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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