Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Why did the Little girl fell off the swing? A: Because she had no arms. And why did she fell again? A: Because her parents laugh about it and ride her again.

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one stop shop

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A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "That driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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why was the woman in the kitchen? because societal standards placed her in such a situation

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Why did the girl go to the hospital? Her brother dared her to jump off the second story roof of their house...

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A sober Irish individual.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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24

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Mini mouse was brutally killed n Oakland Now Mickey is a Chinese member of the crips in Compton Remember don't forget to see the new Disney movie, Mickey Goes Gang-Bangin

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Why did the girl cry? She got hit by a bus.

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how do you kill a man? slowly saw off all their limbs and then jump up and down on the torso and let all the organs fly out

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You're so ugly, when yo' mama dropped you off at school, she kissed your forehead and called you beautiful.

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"Why did the clown fall off the swing" "he was shot in the face"

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Optimus Prime: "GIVE ME YOUR FACE!" Shockwave: "Illogical. I have no face." Optimus Prime: "Then GIVE ME YOUR EYE!" *RIPP*

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How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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how may horses can you fit in a blender i can't remember what is red and goes 100KPH a horse in a blender

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Q: why did the black guy die? A: he got shot

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Why can't the Asian do math? He has down-syndrome.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Steve" "Oh hey Steve, come on in"

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The feds ruined the first underground, so in order for this to not happen you joined them?

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What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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