Why is it funny when dogs talk ? Answer: they don't

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. What did the chinease man say when he got flattened by a plane? A. Nothing, he died instantly.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a broken boomarang? A stick.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A brunette, redhead, and a blond were on a road trip when their car broke down in the middle of a desert. The red-head offered to walk down the road to get help, for none of them knew how to repair the car. She walked down the road in the direction they were headed, but never came back. The redhead and blond died several days later in the shade of the car as a result of extensive heat exhaustion.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how many dead guys does it take to screw in a light bulb? 6

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse than being raped by a giant scorpion getting raped by 2 giant scorpions

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the penis say to the condom? Cover me i'm going in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Why the long face?" Turns out a man suffering from schizophrenia believes he is a bartender for animals as his health slowly declines as his family comes to visit him every day.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

- Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - KGB wh........... *slap* - vwe vwill ask the questions!!!!!!! - Knock Knock!! - whos there? - KGB - Mom the KGB is here again....... - i dont care just answer the damn door - 5 seconds later nobody answers the door....... u here a crash and all of a sudden big men run in with guns - one comes over and slaps the mother while he continues to say " the KGB vwill vwait for no one!!!!!" - every body in the house is shot and and the KGB goees on to tlive normal lives........ for the KGB

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a clock that neither ticks nor tocks? A broken clock

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Guess what else smells like tuna!?! A dead tuna fish in a can

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man walks into a bar. He is now passed out on the ground. (TD)

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Your momma's so old, she your family should be proud to know someone who has lived such a long and full life.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

You stink so bad that you should cleanse yourself via shower and/or bath.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a man with no arms? Richard, as that is his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops