This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

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What's the difference between Jews and pizza? One is an adherent to the religion of Judaism, and the other is a doughy bread topped with tomato sauce and cheese. They share virtually no similarities.

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What did the german speech therapist say to his mute patient? There a few methods we can use to help you obtain the power of speech.

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What's worse than getting murdered? Getting murdered twice? - Louis

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I'm not one to tell gay jokes So I won't

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A Polack walks into a bar. Which makes sense because the bar was in Warsaw.

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What's the difference between 10,000 dead babies and a Farari? I don't have a Farari in my garage.

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Why couldn't the emo kid finish reading his book? Because he was on the titanic when it sank.

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What did the little boy do when he got his test grade? Cried, it was 0

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Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

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What did the farmer say to the other farmer? "Uh... So, you're a farmer?"

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Correctional officer asks an inmate. "Does your elevator go all the way up"? Inmate replied. I don't know we always use the stairs.

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Male leadership.

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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What's the best part of having sex with twenty eight year olds? They are of the legal age

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girls basketball

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i have a black person in my family tree he's still hanginh

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? He chickened out.

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what did the doctor say to the wery fat man? you have diabetes

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What did the White lady say to the Black lady? Hello, how are you?

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what do u call a man being beaten in the street the cops

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I went to the principle's office because I had a hard time reading They tried to tell me I was lesdistic

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Why couldn't a little kid turn around in a hall? He has a spear in his back.

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you can either take the test now or on monday. (hand movement)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops