Q: What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? A: The wheel chair.

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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Nobody because a pineapple is not a proper home

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

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Why did the woman step away from the kitchen? To pick up her paraplegic son, who had fallen.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he was told he would never find a wife

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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A: Why do you look like a dog? B: Idk.

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Why did the man turn up at his friend's funeral dressed as Mickey Mouse? Because it would have been disrespectful not to attend.

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What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys? A friendly individual who cares nothing about racial differences and instead judges people based on character.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing set? because she had no arms. --- Knock, Knock Whos there? Not Sally.

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what did the chinese man say to the convicts at the side of the road? so long gay boys what did the convicts do to the chinese man? nothing he was in a car

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What's worse than missing your flight? 9/11

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A man says to his wife, "Honey, sex just hasn't been the same lately." "That's probably because of my yeast infection," replies his wife.

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What kind of shots does John take at night? Insulin, because he's a diabetic.

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What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

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Chuck Norris farted and... several people looked around uncomfortably, not knowing how to react to the embarrassing situation.

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Why was the man's foot hurting? Because he was being fed into a wood chipper

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big fat hairy gigantic enourmous erectionn CC

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Roses are red, my binoculars are blue. When your window's open, i'm watching you.

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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What is the difference between 100 dead babies and a ferrari? You can't find a ferrari in my garage.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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