Why did the chicken cross the road? It felt like it, no particular reason. Why did the hippo cross the road? Same reason as the chicken. Why did the Fred cross the road? He was with animal control, and a chicken and hippo had just been reported to cross this dangerous stretch of highway.

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How did the black man manage to get that 42 inch TV? He had been working a lot of overtime at work to try and treat his wife and kids.

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Why did your ears get blasted with sound? You never turned the volume down..

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Why couldn't Suzie put on her boots? Because she got her legs amputated.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He had a few drinks then went home.

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Q: What's the difference between a Boyscout and a Jew? A: Boyscouts come home from camp.

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Asian: what time is it? other person: time for you to open your eyes.

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What's red white, blue and hilarious? Glasgow Rangers in administration!

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Yo momma is so fat that she is at a high risk for heart disease and diabetes!

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What device will find furniture in a poorly lit room every time? An infrared camera.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Your mom is so fat that she saw a school bus full of white children and , thought "I can hardly even remember a time when my body used to be slim." She now keeps track of her diet and exercises regularly,the result of this has been a weight loss of over 95 pounds.

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Me: Hey Chris! Chris: WTF.u.c.k

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Why did the dog cross the road? Because the pizza man saw how hungry he was and left a pizza for the dog. So when the dog saw the pizza he went to go get the pizza, because he was hungry. In hindsight the moral of the story is: if you ever see a hungry dog on the other side of the road, become a pizza man (if you aren't already) and give him a pizza.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops