How do you make an idiot in suspense?

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What do you say to a womam with two black eyes? Nothing, she's already been told twice.

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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hey bruno ta quoi ds ta boite a lunch aujourdhui? DU SABLE CRISS DE POVRE!

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Your ancestors called. They want their glasses back!

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Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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Why are many frogs green? Because yes they are.

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What do you call a police officer who kills a black person? Innocent

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What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

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When's the worst time to use skin moisturizer? When you're a burn victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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what does STFU stand for? the southern tenant farmers union.

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Q. Why did the woman cross the road? A. Who cares, what was she doing out of the kitchen

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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Going out for a quiet one, having a drink or two, and returning home.

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Your mother is of a healthy weight and a pleasure to be around.

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What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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There is a young boy called Clive, and his dad asks him what he wants for his birthday: "I would like one yellow golf ball please dad" he said. Of course, his father was quite surprised by his son's request, but nevertheless, he got him a yellow golf ball for his birthday. A few years later, clive does amazingly well at school and gets all As in his final exams. Filled with pride and love for his son, his father says to him: "I can't begin to tell you how proud i am of you, Clive. In fact, you can have a preasant! What do you want?" Clive thinks for a moment. "i would like one hundred yellow golf balls please!" His father was a bit annoyed at his strange request, but neverrtheless, gave Clive his yellow golf balls. A few years later, Clive wins the gold medal at the olymics for the 100m sprint. His father is very proud: "Son, i am so happy about the way you've turned out. You make me so proud. Is there anything you want me to do for you?" "can i have 1000 yellow golf balls please" Now his father got annoyed, he thought Clive was taking the piss. Eventually though, he calmed down and got clove the golf balls. Unfortunatley, Clive gets diagnosed with a deadly disease. His father is heartbroken. And as clive is lying on the hospital bed, his father moves close and speaks to him. "Son" he said, tears welling up in his eyes, "I just want to ask you one thing." "Ok," Clive said, as he too started to get emotional. "Why on earth did you want all those golf balls?" Clive looked deep into his father's eyes, as he took his last breath said: "I wanted them because- ack -splutter- ack" And he died.

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Yo mama got so bad teeth her dentist said she should get them surgicly removed and get lifelike dentures

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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