If a blonde and a feather were dropped off of a building at the same time, which would hit the ground first? A feather is a light object and would most likely float all the way down at a slow velocity, the blonde is most likely 100+ pounds and would die because she is stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope, expectation and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going to venture into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there that Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down in the family's precious leather chair, looked her in the eye and whispered a sweet farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible, so now he is armed with the fact that his father is there for him, to help him further his adventure. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He grabbed his stash of Cool Original Doritos, took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena, got his Grandfather's lucky medallion and his inhaler and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, used the straw to puncture a hole through which to drink, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

I have a dirty joke. Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Yo mom as so dumb.... That she has a low IQ

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Hitler kill himself? He realized what he'd gotten himself into and became severely depressed

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Rebecca Black

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Ask me if I'm on a horse. Are you on a horse? Yes, are you on a horse? No. Oh...

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How are Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga similar? They are both men except Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why didn't the Jew laugh at the joke concerning his familial genealogy in relation to WW2? He had orofacial paralysis and was therefore physically incapable of expressing joy through the means of his mouth

thumb_up thumb_down +8

what do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Paralympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock! Who's there? I have a gun. Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the Girl fall of the swing? She had no arms Knock Knock Who's There? Not That Girl

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. Why did the little boy fall off the swing? A. Because he has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? A: Pick him up and suck on his wang!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Me: How can you tell if somebody's a Nazi? Friend: How? Me: Their killing people in a ghetto. Friend: My friend was shot in a ghetto. Me: So, does that make him a Jew? Friend: No, he was just killed in a big ass oven.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the object with the most points according to science and math? A sphere.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar. He is rushed to the hospital and has his wounds treated.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops