whats worse then getting a bad present on your birthday? dying.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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A brown park bench was bought. After multiple years the color had faded, and the bench was no longer the same shade of brown.

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How do you get a one-armed kid down from a tree? Wave.

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Person1: Have you heard about the girraffe who doesn't eat Georgia peaches? Person2: yes. Person1: Oh, never mind then.

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Thats sweet, thank you then.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To avoid being killed in the slaughter house.

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How do you eat an Elephant? Elephant meat is most palatable after roasting in a 450 degree oven for 2 hours. Garnish with carrots and broccoli.

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What would you call it if Justin Bieber had sex with a woman? Sex, because thats what it is.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I'm a schizophrenic, and so am I.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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So a man walks into a bar with a monkey. I forgot the rest of this joke, but your mom is a whore.

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Water is blue. Fire is red. Come on let me show you what happen in the bed.

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why did sally drown cause she was black

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Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

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What did the barber say to Chewbacca? DAAAAAAYYYYUUUUMMMM!!!

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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gay pom...

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What did bob say when he was told his beloved parents were dying? "oh"

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69

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops