What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

what's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? one is fun to hit with a sledge hammer, and one is a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down -15

why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses Are Red Violets Are Blue If I Had A Brick I Would Throw It At You

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A cat ran into the road...I hit it

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In 1843 when Man invented the moon, people set sail on ironclad ships to lands that sold items that weren't for sale in similar such stores in other lands not reachable by ironclad ships or dirigibles as they became known once they changed form completely and were a differentobject entirely and of no use for water transport. That's when the real revolution in telecommunications began, the truck drivers would use CB radios as early as 1287 and 1276 in Canada. the CB radio enabled the users to order pizza and develop symbiotic relationshiops with canvas. Amongst other things.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What did the kid with no arms or legs get for christmas? A Wii.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

"Hey baby, how much?" "$2.99 each or 2 for $5.00, Steve." "Thanks Baby, I'll take 2."

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Happy Birthday! Your mom is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A chicken walks into McDonalds. He never comes out because he got grilled, greased, and seasoned.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Roses are red Violets are blue Polytetrafluoroethylene is a synthetic fluoropolymer of tetrafluoroethylene that has numerous applications

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Have you ever seen that gay clown in asda.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

so your in a room with mickey mouse and the lights go off, how did the lights go off mickey mouse turned them off

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's brown and smells like shit? My boxers.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops