- How do you save a black man from drowning? - I don't know - Good!

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why did the chicken cross the road? I never got to ask it got hit by a car.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Nothing. Johnny is Jewish.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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My dad weights 350 lbs. He decided to switch to diet soda.

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Your mom is so skinny that she may have anorexia, yet she could treat it so she doesn't die.

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Why did the kid drop his ice-cream? Because he tripped on a dead guy!

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whats the difference between a boyscout and a jew? boyscouts come home from camp

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Why does Billy Mays yell? He doesn't, he's dead.

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Your momma is so fat, when she bent down to get a peice of wood, she fell down the steps.

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what is red and bad for your teeth? a brick

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What did the blonde say when she saw anti-joke.com for the first time? Nothing. She's been in a vegetative state for three years and her parents finally decided to pull the plug.

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Why did jack fall off a cliff? Coz the hill was on a cliff.

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What did the Jewish kid get for Christmas? Nothing, Jews don't celebrate Christmas.

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Why don't you throw rocks at a black person riding a bike..... It could be yours

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What happens if you go one louder? Nothing because you can't

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A man walks into a bar. It was his push-up bar that he didn't install high enough. He bumps his head and it hurts.

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What's big with fat all over it? Your mom on this dick

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A black man got sentenced go prison for stealing a car. He didn't do it.

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In what way are a pile of deceased children and a Ferrari F430 similar? Neither can be found in my garage, nor anywhere under my possession. As for the Ferrari, this is an unfortunate truth. Due to Ferraris' high level of desirability, and to their low supply, the cost of one such car is much more than an average person can afford. As for the pile of deceased children, anyone in possesion (for lack of a better term, as one can not truly possess another human being, even post mortem) of such a grotesque thing is probably too sick and twisted to be submitting jokes with no apparent climax in hopes of stimulating the minds of the joke's readers sense of humor.

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Knock Kock Who's there Boo Boo Who? Boo Radley is a fictional character in the novel To Kill A Mockingbird by Harper Lee. Don't cry.

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why is walmart so big? Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory that a typical person should or could ever possibly need all in one place.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops