A Muslim walks into a Bar, He buys everyone a round of drinks and enjoys the rest of his night

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Modern math questions: If I have 9 apples and you have 12 ice cubes, his many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What happens when a toad is struck by lightning? The same thing that happens to everything else.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

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Man: Doctor doctor I feel like a pair of curtains........ Doctor: You clearly have Alarming mental issues perhaps a psychologist would be the right person to discuss this matter further

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Paul walks on a bridge. It collapses.

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We spent trillions of tax payer's money on the death of 1 man... wait that's not funny...

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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What did the prison inmate get for Christmas? A warm chair to sit in

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How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why did the man stop smoking? Because he was shot in the face.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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Q. What do you call a retarted guy? A. Whatever his name happens to be

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Roses are red Olives are Black come to my and will smoke some crack

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Q: What do yoiuo call an Italian butler? A: Vinny

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What's worse than beating a dead horse? Nothing. Beating a horse is just too much fun

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Why do Christians believe in God? Because they're stupid

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A cow went into a meadow and ate some grass. Some time later he wandered off.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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Your mother is so average in weight and in attractiveness.

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so...um, yeah

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops