What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

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What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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Whats green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why are there no Jews in hell? Because Hitler is there,

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Elvis presley was taking a poop and couldnt poop cause he was dead.

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Q. What do birds and a mouse have in common... A. Nothing there two different species

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ewrg

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my egg roll

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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Q: Hey, wanna hear a joke? A: Sure! Q: Alright, cool. *leaves*

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Roses are blue Violets are red I'm bad at poetry Potato

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four blondes where on their way to disneyworld they see a sign that say disneyworld:left so they turn around wondering where disneyworld went

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way. ernkso

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Why are Asian people bad drivers? Coincidental cases of blurred vision.

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How do you kill a polar bear? Global Warming.

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A man is walking down the street and sees a women sat on the pavement crying, he walks over to her and asks "what's wrong?" to which the women replies "it doesn't matter" the women then walks away as she did not want to share private information with a stranger.

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Q: What did the nazi say to hitler? A: You like my Auschwitz?

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what do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch names

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How do you paint a wall red? Throw a baby at it.

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my friend got in a car wreck,he lost his left arm and left leg. how is he now? Hes all right.

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What is the worst joke ever? This one.

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how do you get rid of your home work? give it to your dog!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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