What is x + 12 That is impossible because you can't add letters

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Knock Knock Who's there? (Pause) Who's there? Hello? Bloody kids

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead find a cliff that is supposed to turn you into something which you exclaim upon leaping from the cliff. The brunette jumps off and exclaims: BIRD! She thus falls to her death on a ton of pointy rocks. The other two loot her corpse and walk away.

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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Why did the drunk driver get into an accident? It was a woman.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Bob: "Did you eat my sandwich?" Alex: "I am your sandwich."

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united we sit, cause we're fat

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a mexican guy, a jewish guy, and a priest jump off a plane they landed safely and had a great day

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A black man checks his watch. He sees that its 3:50, and calmly carries on with his day.

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What happened when the Irish ran out of potatoes? Millions starved.

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I fear I do, maybe someone fooled you, but that was originally one of my aliases.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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What's worse than failing a test Drowning

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What is black, can fly and sing? R. Kelly.. "I believe I can fly"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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