Knock knock Who's There? Woo? Woo who? Stop celebrating and let me in.

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A young boy is concerned about the well- being of his father, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Knock Knock Whos there Cameron oh

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To try and get hit by a car.

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If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

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What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball? Whatever their names happen to be.

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why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

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If you give a mouse a cookie... ...you're destroying its natural diet. It might die.

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I haven't left my basement in 29 years

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What happened to the man who lost his job? He couldn't support his family so they all became homeless and eventually died of starvation.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Why the long face?" And the horse says "I have cancer".

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Parents were talking about a particular whore house and tries to keep it secret to their son. Father: Bob and I saw the house near the river, its a whore house full of prostitutes. Mother: Shhh! Our son is listening. The Son enters the room. Son: Don't mind me, I know that area. Both parents were angry: So you've been there!? Don't deny, you know! Son: Just because I know doesn't mean I've been there. I know the moon has less gravity but I haven't been there.

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A man told his daughter not to give his dog coffee. His daughter turned and told him that she was his nurse and his alzheimers is getting worse.

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Why did Paul let Johnny choke to death? Because Paul had no arms.

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Where do cows go on the weekends? The slaughterhouse.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 cantaloupe.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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What's worse than tornadoes in the USA? Earthquakes in Japan.

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A black man, a jew and a muslim walk into a bar. ... I forgot what happens next, so let's just say they have a good time and get back home safely.

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"Lassie, Lassie, come quick! Timmy is in the well!" "I'm a dog," replies Lassie. "You folks have ropes, ladders, and opposable thumbs. What the hell could I possibly do to help?" With that final act of disobedience, Lassie was turned into fertilizer.

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Q)Why doesn't the blond have a job? A) he is 12

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What's redder than a red apple? 2 red apples

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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