What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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Why did Johnny close the door on Sally's face? Because Johnny is a dick.

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what is red and smells like paint red paint

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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What did you say? I'm blind. (Did not write this meaning to be offensive)

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Why was timmy live on the streets? His parents didnt have the money to abort him!! HaHa

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Was the last joke funny? Because this one isn't.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

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What's a bench painted red white and blue all over? An American BENCH.

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what did the guy do at the funeral? cry because his wife died

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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What looks red and smells like barf? Depends on how you look at the situation.

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When I meet the woman of my dreams, she wont know what hit her... Nor will the police.

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What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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How do you get a black guy to stop hanging around in your front yard? Hang him in the back yard.

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Whats bright red and claws at the window? Baby in a microwave.

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Barack Obama and a kangaroo pull up to a gas station. The gas station attendant takes one look at the kangaroo and says, "You know, we don't get many kangaroos here." Barack Obama replies, "At these prices, I'm not surprised. That's why we need to reduce our dependence on foreign oil."

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How many TV shows are there? A lot.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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