Whats brown and sticky? Shit.

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Roses are red violets are blue faces like yours belong in a zoo don't be mad I'll be there too not in a cage but laughing at you

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A fat African a rich mexican and a gay guy jump off a cliff. Who hits the ground first? The gay guy because fat Africans and rich Mexicans don't exist

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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try this on someone: Knock Knock Who's there? Knock Knock Who's There? Knock Knock They will keep asking who's there while you laugh

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I came up with one when my friend Sam told me the fortune from her Jone's Soda. A change of heart may lead to a new living environment, a change of heart may also lead to death.

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A homosexual and a heterosexual bump into each other on the street. But its okay, because although they both lead very different lifestyles, they are open minded enough to respect each others choices and both apologize and keep walking.

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What would a gay, transgender, mexican man say to another? We could have butt sex.

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How did the boy escape the burning building? He didn't. He burned and when to hell like everyone else.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me neither.

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Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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You know how they say cats have nine lives? They don't.

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Why was Samuel L. Jackson so tired of those motherf***ing snakes on that motherf***ing plane? Because if snakes are loose on a plane, they might bite you.

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How many dead hookers can you fit in a trunk? Five

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Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

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Why did they bury the fireman on the east side of the green grassy hill, to the left of the old well, underneath the huge apple tree? Because he was dead.

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What did George Washington say to his men before they got on a boat? Men, get on the boat

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What did the black police officer say to the white police officer? We just got a call in. Four dead children were found in an alley behind a mall.

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if you have two gay people, would their kid be gay too? oh wait....

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why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the sadistic farmer with a loaded shotgun (as the farmer has an extremely large score to settle with the chicken, as his wife was dead, a cause of mad cow disease, an STD from the chicken, as the chicken is a pimp) thus escaping captivity and starting a new life as a free chicken. God save Martin Luther KIng

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what is the difference between a black person and a white person there skin

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2 black men beat 9 white men in basketball. Why is this so? They were clearly out numbered.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops