3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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What is about the size of a sausage, flesh-colored and looks like a penis, if you illuminate it with a flashlight on monday nights? - a penis.

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A woman is hit by a car. Thankfully she manages to survive, but the driver is fined a lot of money for speeding.

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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What Do you call two black guys on a bike? A two person bike

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There was a horse in a very hot sumer day. He was in the middle of corn field It was so hot that the corns started popping out. The horse thought it was snowing and died of cold.

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Q: How do you tell a Jewish person that you love them? A: You tell them "I love you".

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped six's mother

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Q: Why did the bear fall out of the tree? A: Because humans tranquilized him, brought him to an animal shelter 100 miles away from his home. Then after he got out he got hit by a car and died. PETA is watching.....always

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if i gave a rats ass, I'd worry about you.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

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Boy: Hey girl, the voices in my head tole me to come over and talk to you. Girl: ... *walks away*

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So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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a plane crashes on the boarder of america and mexico where do you bury the survivors. you dont bury the surviors

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the batmobile? 'Get in the batmobile Robin'

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Rush Limbaugh

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Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

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What do you get when you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence in prison.

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i have yougurt mit traktor

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U know whats worser than having a worm in your apple... Having 1352 dislikes on your anti-joke...

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I asked her where you were.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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