What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? What do you mean what's the difference?!?! One of them is a fucking elephant!

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I hate Mondays, the man said as he drove to work. Fortunately for him, it was a Wednesday.

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Mary- Hey Dallas, do you have a suitcase? Dallas- Yeah, why? Mary- I need a suitcase

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Knock Knock. Not home.

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Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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What smells like pizza and likes to roll? Pizza rolls.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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penisvaginaorgasm

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What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

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Man 1: Not to be gay or anything, but I really like your shirt, it looks nice on you. Man 2: Not to be gay or anything, but I like men.

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Why did Adolf Hitler Start WWII and kill millions of Jews? Because he was a poweful dictator

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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Your mom is so fat that she turns "One Size Fits All" to "One Size Fits Most"

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How did the black guy survive the bus crash? At the time of the bus crash, it was a segregated community, therefore no black people were allowed on buses.

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What do you get when you cross a Chinese man with a dog? A happy Chinese man and a pile of dog bones.

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how many shit jokes do you need to make before you realize that random does not equal funny? TOO FUCKING MANY

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, STDs are contagious. Careful who you screw!

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What do you call a blonde falling off a cliff? Screwed.

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What do you call a bad yo mama joke? your mom

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Why does Toby suck! Because he sucks!

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What happens when an alien touches fire? It gets burnt

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Oh NOES! She does worry about me! YOU MUST APOLOGIZE! Relax, the body has two sources of happy drugs, one is the sweet calm stuff I am really bad at, and the other comes with adrenaline and stuff, the name of which I do not remember, both are important, but yeah, I am a thrill seeker, and when I do not find them, I make a thrill out of whatever I got, whatever that means.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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