if you want to see somthing funny, throw a small child imbertween two catholic priests!

thumb_up thumb_down -46

What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

Often, Asians argue that they can speak properly... Like instead of L's, they use "R's." Sure... http://eng.tekkenpedia.com/wiki/Leo#Introduction

thumb_up thumb_down -48

In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -48

what goes ha ha ha ..plop? We are all going to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -50

I like to rape children, then kill them, eat them and defecate them into a toilet

thumb_up thumb_down -54

I walked across a lake once. Someone said "JESUS CHRIST!" to which I replied with "YES?"

thumb_up thumb_down -62

How do you seat four gay guys at a bar when there's only one stool? Flip the stool over.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Roses are red, violets are violet. I'm not stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

What's the difference between an orange? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you have to do to confuse a blond? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no arms... Why couldn't sally get up? She had no legs Why did no one help sally? Because she has no friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What do you get if you cross an Irishman with a Brazilian Aristocrat? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

One walrus says to the other, "Why are you shaking like that?" The other walrus says, " I've been addicted to ectasy for three years. It's ruining my life."

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Q: Whats the difference between porno and your mom? A: I can masturbate to porno

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What type of jobs do black people have? That depends entirely on their qualifications and suitability to the relevant role.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Whats gay and smells like paint? A gay man covered in paint.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You know what rhymes with sloth? Rape.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

when life gives you lemons, force a hobo to eat them because lemonade is going to suck if life doesnt give you any sugar.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops