If life gives you lemons, You have a problem and you might need medicine.

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What did the little boy get from his parents on Christmas? Nothing. His parents died 2 nights before in a tragic car crash.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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Why was the blonde sad? Her phone was broken due to an NNEMP.

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How do you drown a blonde? hold her head down until she stops breathing

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy But I just kissed you... And I have rabies!

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Have you seen the new Spiderman movie yet? No, Uncle ben hasn't seen it either.

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roses are red so is ur face dont look at me like im a crazy bitch

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

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What's the difference between a black person and a pizza? Pizza is a type of food.

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Why did the black man give his seat to a white man? Because the white man had a leg injury, and the black man was being a courteous good samaritan.

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What's worse than a car going backwards on the highway? A steamroller going backwards on the highway.

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If you have 12 apples and I have 12 ice cubes how many pancakes fit on a roof? Purple because aliens don't wear hats.

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Why doesn't God like fruitcake? Because God doesn't exist.

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How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Dad, why do people say mom is a nympho? No idea son, try asking one of your other dads.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he wanted to prove he wasn't chicken

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What do you call Chuck Norris being killed? This is impossible so we are not give it a name.

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-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

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Knock knock. After 1 and a half minutes of waiting, Phil assumes his friend is not home, and promptly leaves.

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Doctor: I'm gunna try to fit your illness into an everyday, normal conversation. Is that okay? Patient: okay. Doctor: how are you? Patient: fine... Doctor: that's weird.. Because you have AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops