What did Timmothy get when he got back from his vacation in a tropical destination? Malaria.

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your physician, you're going to die.

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You know the drill, the world is not as black and white as it was before, just because we are not on the same side, does not make us enemies either. As for whatever is going on, I can assure you I had nothing to do with the fall of the first underground, and neither will I make sure whatever you scraped together, large or small falls either, I realize I should have thought this trough some more, but we had little time to act on this one.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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How do you treat someone that is feels like a total failure? Treatment: Okay, draw a square on the board over there, but in order to succeed, you must fail at it. Patient one: Oh, I drew a cicrle :( Patient two: I drew a square :( Congratulations one you succeeded at failing! Now get outta here. Congratulations patient two, you succeeded at the given task, bye bye.

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What happened to Grant when he did a cart wheel? Chuck had sex with Victoria

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How do you kill a priest? Shoot him in the forehead.

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Laughter is the best medicine. Not for cancer.

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Jesse gives his mom the stick for breakfast

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What did the blind man say to his teacher? Nothing, blind people can't talk.

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What's the reason my dog died? I ate him.

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It's all fun and games until you stop having fun

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

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what has hair and can fly? a human.. i lied about the flying.

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Pineapple.

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What's a ghost's favorite color? Usually whatever their favorite color was in life.

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why did the roof cave in? It was not structurally sound do to poor architecture

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Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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What did one Japanese man say to the other? I don't know, I don't speak Japanese.

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Why did the chicken rape your...wait, that's not how it goes!

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What did the dyslexic boy get for Christmas? A laptop. And he was very happy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops