In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

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Q: Why couldn't the skeleton go to the party A: He had a boner

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.

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whats the difference between a bench and a mexican? a bench can support its family

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What's worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? The holoca- *the man hearing the joke then pulls out a desert eagle and shoots the man in the chest before finishing the joke then goes to jail for the rest of his life*

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Why shouldn't I go out today? Well I haven't done any work today. Actually no. It's not that. I'd have to ask my guardian Sally to bring out the wheelchair, and well, I'm afraid of her. She beats me. My hobbies are playing football, watching Loose Women and looking at pictures of Gary Barlow on Google Images.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was Tuesday, Popeyes has a special sale buy one get one free fried chicken. The chicken was like "Oh hell no, today's Tuesday? I'm funna get my feathery-asss out of here.." However, chickens do not know what day it is, nor do they care about being captured by humans. I also made up the part when the chicken began talking.

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women are like puzzles because prior to 1920 neither had the right to vote, puzzles still don't.

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Why did the duck cross the road? Because there was a gunman on the same side of the path and it would most likely be safer to avoid making eye contact

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"what's fat,stupid,and has a shell" "i don't know what" "you, i lied about the shell"

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Your mamas so old. When she farted dust came out.

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I bet I can say the the whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world. The whole Greek alphabet faster than any other person in the world.

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How many black people does it take to tar a roof? Just one. Unless he wants to do it in a shorter amount of time and calls a few friends to help him.

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why did the kitten drink its milk? because it doesnt have a motor so has no need for petrol.

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Have you seen Hellen Keller's dad? Neither did she

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How do you write an anti-joke? With the keyboard Or voice recognition software

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What did the black guy say to the slave driver. Nothing, slavery no longer exists.

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what is the difference between a a person and a book? people can walk

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The Pope, a Rabi and an Islamic religious leader go into a room and come out with what? A new understanding of each others cultures.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? One, its not a difficult task.

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what do you call a bomb in a plane? A dangerous threat to lives

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How do you confuse a Blondel? Tell her there's a demon in her liver

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Why was the truck making noises? It was backing up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops