whats black, then white, then dead all over? Michael jackson

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How many friendzoned guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They just compliment it then get mad when it won't screw.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

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How do you kill a deer? You don't, you just let it be because that's what a decent human being would do.

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Skrillex.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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a blonde walks into a drycleaning store to get her clothes and on her way out the empoyee behind her says come again and then the blonde says shut up u nosy bitch its just toothpaste this time!!!

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Why was the boy with no arms and legs crying? He had a lit match in his anus.

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Why did the cat eat his food? Because he was hungry.

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teacher: who's going to pass english? students: us teacher: not you, i lied about the passing

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What do you call a deer with no eye? No eye deer ( get it, it's like the red, necked southern speaking states )

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Q: What did they call the dude who was stuck on a deserted island? A: Incontinent.

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Why don't pineapples grow on pine trees? Because they're tropical.

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What is long, hard, and full of semen? An erected penis.

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Knock, Knock. Who's There? Its Greg. I forgot my keys, can you let me back in?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To distract everyone from the Mexican.

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why did u put your iphone in the blender?!?!? because i wanted to make apple juice..

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RIDE A PONY, RIDE A PONY

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drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

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What is black and bad for your teeth? A cannon ball

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LUKE, I am your father... this is your mother, your parents dont love you so we've adopted you

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Why does Miley Cyrus make sex tapes It's the only acting job she can get

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Yo mama so fat, she suffered a heart attack last week and we are all deeply concerned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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