Knock knock, COME IN!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q.what do you call a dead baby? A. a dead baby

thumb_up thumb_down +3

/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mothers so dumb that when she had to take a math test, she received a significantly lower grade than the rest of her classmates.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than Twilight? New Moon. What's worse than New Moon? Eclipse. What's worse than Eclipse? Breaking Dawn. What's worse than Breaking Dawn? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Breaking Dawn Part 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's 18 inches long and makes women scream? Crib death.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up, you retarded black poet!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Your mother is so large she finds it difficult to fit into regular sized clothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

if a sentence contains the words "Chuck Norris" it still has to end up with a period otherwise it is bad grammar and is looked down upon by American society.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the virgin say to the car salesmen? Hello, I'm really interested in buying a car today.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two gay men are seen walking down a street in Texas. Actually now that I think about it homosexuality is pretty much outlawed in Texas. Two gay men are thrown into a Texan Jail where they spend the rest of their lives, cold hungry and alone.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

An old bear-wrestler dies and finds himself at the pearly gates. Confused and at a loss for words due to the unfamiliar circumstance and lack of public toilets, he blurts out "Saint Peter, I presume?" but it was just the train conductor. "Ticket please." He searched his pockets and finally found the ticket. He wished he had a dog, but not a seeing-eye dog because people would assume he was blind. This story illustrates the importance of situational awareness, remembering which pocket you put your ticket in, and not forgetting to go before you leave because you don't know when you'll be able to find a restroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I'm so stupid that I'm posting on Anti Jokes!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped by a giant scorpian. Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpian? Getting tortured to death. Whats worse than being tortured to death? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, and getting tortured to death. Whats worse than that? Getting raped by a giant scorpian, getting tortured to death, and finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" he replies: "I was walking with my wife and was mauled by a bear"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's worse than having to listen a song from Justin Bieber? Being wrongfully convicted of child molestation,rape and murder and spending 50 years in prison before being acquited by DNA-analysis.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Roses are red violets are blue im a mass murderer and i will kill your family with no hesitation

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A monkey walks into a bar. Monkeys are always funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

why did the black guy say he was ridin' dirty? because its been weeks since he last took it to the coin op, he's busy working as an I.T Specialist.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the asain fail his tests? They weren't math tests...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops