You are walking down the street. You see 3 black people and you don't talk to them because they are complete strangers.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, it hurts when i poke my leg like this!" The doctor says,"Mm yes, it seems you have taken an arrow to the knee. You'll never walk again."

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why aren't doughnuts square? because they are round

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I'd tell you a joke about Uganda but it wouldn't be worth it as it probably would keep a low score and possibly even get deleted for staying a week with a negative rating, for a number of reasons including that it isn't particularly funny, it was copied from another website and it is slightly racist. Taking into account what most people look for in a joke, it doesn't necessarily meet their needs and would more than likely fall into a lame category. And for that reason I have not submitted it.

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roses are red, violets are blue. Some poems don't make sense, Salad.

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What is worse than getting hit by a car? Getting hit by a truck

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flavin's head

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How many rats does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two. But they have to be really small.

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Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

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Whats worse than breaking your Xbox? Being raped by your dad.

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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What did the heroin addict get for Christmas? Aids from a used needle.

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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Why did the black man get some Kool-Aid? Because he was thirsty, and thought Kool-Aid would be able to quench his thirst.

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because apples can't talk.

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What do you get when you mate a rhino with an elephant? Nothing. This mating cannot produce offspring.

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Q: Why did the boy have a bloody nose? A: Because a serial killer split his head in half with an axe.

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Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? The one at the bottom is alive. What's worse than that? He's eating his way out. What's worse than that? He came back for seconds.

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A Mexican, a Jew, an American and an Indian are on a plane with no parachutes. No one jumps out because no one has a parachute.

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How many rich men does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, to hire an electrician to do it for him.

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What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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A dyslexic man into bar walks a.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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