Q: If I have 5 pencils, and you have 3 spoons, how many pancakes will stick to the ceiling? A: Purple, because aliens don't wear hats.

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny becuase the robot had no arms.

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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What should you do when you're constipated? Poop.

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A construction worker walks into a bar. Lucky he was wearing his hard hat.

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Once upon a time there was a magical duck in a magical kingdom. Nothing interesting ever happened to it and it was eaten by a magical fox.

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What's funnier then a dead baby. Two dead babies.

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Roses are blue Violets are red Is that really What I just said?

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Your playing NBA 2k12 and some one steals the man your covering and you scream "THAT'S MY MAN!" what sounds wrong in this situation?

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Whats the difference between KFC and Starbucks? KFC didn't murder your sister.

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What do you call a Jew talking on a cellphone ? Well one should mind his/her business and shouldn't call people names and discriminate against them on religious or ethnic grounds .

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Why did the room go dark? Somebody turned the lights off

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rawrrrrrrrrrrr

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Hey, dude, wanna hear a joke? Sure... Pussy. ...I dont get it... Exactly! HAHAHAHAHAHA

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Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

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how do you save a baby from drowning? Take your foot off the back of its head.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Q: What did the cat say to the dog? A: I hate you, alot

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Why did Alex fall off the swing? he had no arms

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What has eight wheels and cost more than a Lamborghini? Two Lamborghinis.

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Racial Equality

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Why did Nico Bellec not shoot that one guy? Just joking, this is Grand Theft Auto 4 dummy.

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Penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops