Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

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what do you call someone with one arm? Handicapped.

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Three Jew begin to walk down the street, they then pursue walking and purchase many goodies from vendors.

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Why did the gay kid drop his ice cream Because he got punched in the face.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I am white and I like cold food

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How did Chris die? Bush-fire

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Why did the boy eat the chips? Because he was hungry

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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There are two blonds in a car, the driver to looks to the other blond (carelessly taking in her surroundings) They crash and the passenger is grusomely killed to the point of not being recognized and the driver later commits suicide from the guilt and pending law suit.

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What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

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What do a worm and a human have in common? They both have arms and legs apart from the worm

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a murderer sees a young child left alone at a park... he promptly finds the childs mother and returns her to her home.

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Knock Knock Who's there? a tree

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his wife in the hospital. She has terminal cancer.

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Why couldn't Jesus get a driver's license? Because automobiles did not exist 2000 years ago.

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whay did the monkey fall out of the tree? he was dead. why did the cat fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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You know what's stupid and gay? Idiots and homosexuals, respectively.

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Why did the jew kill himself? He heard a raciest joke and went into a period of depresion causing him to lose all will to live.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Fed-Ex, here's your new brother.

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what happens when you throw a green rock into the red sea? -- it gets wet

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What do you call a German who roasts Jews for a living? A comedian.

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Why did the black homeowner declare bankruptcy on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by continuing to pay his mortgage bills.

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Immigration Laws

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What did the Asian dad say to his son when he got an A- in math? Good job son.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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