- Anti Joke

Quaint? Oh yeah? YOU ARE QUAINT! No seriously, whats that word all about.

What do you call a joke with no punchline?

Roses are red Violets are blue This font is black You smell like shit

What's worse than the holocaust? nothing it was a terrible act in history

mohammed ali walks into a bar, gets a drink, signs a few autographs , and a good time is enjoyed by all.

"I want a boyfriend for these cold winter nights" ... Shut up you slut go buy a blanket.

Why didnt the boy go to school the next day? Because he killed himself due to bullying

Roses are red violets are blue vodka cost less than dinner for two

What's worse than nailing 10 babies to a wall? Ripping them off.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it died.

what did the homeless man get for christmas hyperthermia

yo mamma's so retarded that shes a potato

What did the pear tree say to the farmer? Go harvest that corn over yonder.

How do you stop an oncoming bus? You push a stroller in front of it.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

What's the difference between Paris Hilton and a cow? Cows are ruminants, meaning that they have a digestive system that allows use of otherwise indigestible foods by regurgitating and rechewing them as "cud". Paris Hilton, on the other hand, is a human being. Therefore, her stomach digests the bolus (masticated food) only after it has exited the oesophagus into the body of the organ, where it is digested into chyme and then passed through the pyloric sphincter into the duodenum.

How do you make Adolf Hitler angry? You can't, dead people are not sentient, and hence cannot feel anger.

what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

Why cant your mom breathe She chockin on my D**K

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Q. Why cant Stephen Hawking walk into a bar? A. Because he suffered being paralyzed and is unable to walk. So theoretically speaking it is impossible to walk when paralyzed and in a wheelchair unless the victim is out of his or her wheelchair. Please note that the chances of walking when paralyzed are extremely slim.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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