Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

One night a policewoman pulls over a drunk driver. She politely asks him to step out of his car. He willingly does so. She says, "Anything you say can and will be Held against you." He replies "BREASTS."

A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

what's up? my penis.

What do you call a black man that works with out pay? A volunteer

A man walks into a coffee shop and buys a bookshelf.

What do you call an giraffe? Well, you should probably call it a giraffe if you want people to think you are literate and know your grammar.

what do you call a dog with not legs? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

Hi... your father has testicular cancer and he will die in 2 months....

what has 4 legs three eyes and a horn? a:yo mama

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

knock knock Who's there? Me Me who? Me Doa Kong Oh, Hi! Come on in.

How do you say the weekend in French? The weekend in French.

How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Bus....

Don't read this or I'll be angry ...…...... Darn you...

How do you get your sister to stop wearing your underwear? Throw up on her.

What's the best way to win a race? Run faster than all other participants.

Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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