Confucius says, I hear and I forget. I see and I remember. I do and I understand.

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Why couldn't the boy watch the R-rated movie? Cuz he was blind.

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How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

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What smells like death and makes kids cry? Dead animal

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What day is it today? Today. Thank you. You're welcome.

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How long does it take for britney spears to change a light bulb? Fish can not leave the water without dieing.

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my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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Edward Smith had started telling a long rambling joke when William McMaster Murdoch cut him off with "I don't like where this is headed".

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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are you from tennesse? cuase you sure look like a f u c k e d up redneck

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because I was on the other side. And I'm a chick magnet

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Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

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Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

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have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

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What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

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A fat man walked into a hot dog.

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Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops