Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

A stripper walks into a bar, she proceeds to cry because she's an alcoholic and a stripper. Meanwhile, her 3 children sit at home hungry. She then goes home, and grabs her gun and shoots her children, then shoots herself. Bucket.

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit.

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

A man comes home to his wife sleeping with their neighbor. This lead to their divorce four months later.

Why is meth so addicting? Why? Hang on, i gotta go do some meth

What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before they got into the car? A: Get in the car.

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

have you seen stevie wonder's harmonica? neither has he.

What's the only thing better than winning a gold medal in the special olympics? Not being retarded.

What happened when the Mexican put the Popsicles in the fridge? They melted

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

A guy walks into a bar and asks the bartender for some water. The bartender replies: "Sorry, we don't have any." The man responds: "Sorry, I'm drunk." He walks out.

Why did little Jimmy go crying to his mummy? Because she was shot.

A fat man walked into a hot dog.

Link ate ink to make him sink.

An artist walks into a bar and orders a rum and ckoe. The bartender reads the first sentence and realizes the artist is dyslexic and fixes him a rum and coke.

Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

if life gives you lemons. squeeze one into your moms eye.

When ducks fly in a V formation do you know why one side is longer than the other? Because there are more ducks on that side.

A blind man who spoke English and a deaf man who used sign language went to a bar together. Although they didn't communicate they had a wonderful time.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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