Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

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What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

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Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

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Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

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Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

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It's okay, I got the yogurt.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

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Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

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what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

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[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

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How do you make a tree angry Overall trees have no sense of emotion therefore it is impossible to anger a tree.

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Montague goes to the alcoholics meeting and says "Hello I'm Montague and I am an alcoholic" Evreyone points at him and chants "LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!, LOSER!" Montague is appaled, he expected to be welcomed with sympathy and respect. Then he realises his mistake. He has walked into meeting with a bottle of whisky and is wearing a Justin Beiber T Shirt

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View Terms of Service

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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What do Helen Keller and Beethoven have in common? They both died wondering what the hell their last words were.

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What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

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Three Blondes were walking when they come upon some tracks. The first blonde says they're deer tracks. The second blonde says they're elk tracks. The last blonde says they're moose tracks. While they are all arguing about what type of tracks they are, they get hit by a train.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of it's legs.

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Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

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Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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