why did the boy die? because he got shot

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven ate the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's okay, I got the yogurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

:Knock Knock :Don't be stupid there's no door here.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Someone chucked a fridge at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Two latino men are drinking at a bar. Suddenly, one man falls off his barstool, unconscious. Later that day, he was diagnosed with pancreatitis, and died never having dealt with his severe alcoholism.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the chicken cross the playground. He didn't. chickens are unsanitary to have in schools

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what happens when you throw a green rock into a yellow pond. it makes a spash.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why was Michael Jackson at K-Mart? They offer high quality items at a reasonable price and lay-away during the holidays.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down +13

So, there's three blondes. Two of them walk into a bar. The third one missed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you get if you mix rice with slightly different flavoured rice? Rice.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the Indian have a hard time getting a hotel room? He didn't. He owned the hotel.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did Helen Keller's dog run away Because no dog likes being called "hurrrrdhjkdhjsaklhdkhjkddssaduyiwqkhdbewcjk"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats the difference between chris and a party. the locations

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats long, black, and fat? The line at KFC

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the 2 black kids jump the barb-wired fence To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down +13

[INSERT ANTIJOKE HERE]

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops